Men seem have a rather difficult time pleasing a woman. This is not because she lacks the right equipment to achieve orgasm. Men lack a real understanding of how female pleasure works. Most seem to have it in their heads that poking a woman in the vagina will give her screaming orgasms. However, this is way off base. The walls of the vagina have very little in the way of pleasure building nerve endings. This is the reason that about 75% of women have never had an orgasm during intercourse. However, it's not as difficult to make her cum as you, and often times she, has made it out to be.

Most women masturbate. In fact, they masturbate much more than you think. In some cases it is the only way a woman gets off. When you've been ineptly prodding her nether regions to no avail, she usually thinks, "I'll just finish this job myself later on." She knows exactly where her glorious bundle of orgasm-inducing nerves is concentrated. She can hit that spot and stay until climax, instead of getting bored, losing concentration, and wandering off the hot spot. Also, a woman feels fewer inhibitions on her own.

A large part of a woman's sexual satisfaction has to do with her state of mind. Women have not been socialized to like sex in the same way men have. They are taught to associate a certain amount of shame in conjunction with their sexuality. Even as they mature and discover themselves, it is still a very large barrier to break through. Related to this is the fact that sexual portrayals in media both disregard and objectify the female. Women are the mechanisms of the male fantasy, and there is immense pressure to live up to that fantastical standard, which has little to do with her pleasure. Knowing how much you love to see Briana Banks screaming in ecstasy mere seconds into penetration could lead her to feeling sexually inadequate when a glance from your member doesn't send her over the top. Pressure to orgasm practically guarantees its impossibility.

Finally, a man should know that sexual stimulation for a woman is not an on/off switch. Just because you touch her in a certain spot, does not necessarily mean you are going to make her cum. Before you even think about making contact with her genitalia, you need to prepare her in other ways. Otherwise you'll be fumbling around down there while she's watching Everyone Loves Raymond on TNT. Kiss her, stroke her, caress her, and really value the woman in your bed. When she feels relaxed, comforted, and valued by the man in her bed, then she can achieve real sexual satisfaction.

Michael Webb
©2009

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