So now, let's assume you two are back at your place (or her place). She seems a bit nervous or looks visibly uncomfortable. What now? How do you get her to feel comfortable enough to open up to you sexually?

Well this also goes back to the Flow Planning. It's important to have some cool things out in the open in your place. For example, I know how to do Handwriting Analysis, so I might tell her about it, and have her write a sample of handwriting on a piece of paper.

Then, when I read her the analysis, I get close to her and put my arm around her while pointing out different things that her handwriting reveals about her.

Anyway, so I might also have a really cool art book which is full of interesting, and sexually suggestive pictures... you name it. Just find some fun things to help break the ice, and help her relax. Maybe instead of doing handwriting, you'll want to learn how to read palms (which is also really easy). Maybe you know some cool magic tricks that you can entertain her with.

The one main thing that you need to learn how to do is to RADIATE a sense of acceptance, relaxation, and comfort to her. This is what I do, and it works like a charm every time.

Basically you need to come from a state of mind that says, "I'm totally comfortable here with you, and I know that you feel totally comfortable with me. I'm just waiting for you to realize it."

Now does that sounds like a bunch of New Age crap? If it does, I don't blame you... but it really does work. This kind of attitude comes with experience, but you can start now.

The next time you're talking to a woman, instead of paying attention to how nervous or horny you are... just focus your thoughts on helping her feel totally comfortable and (here's the key) help create an environment in which she feels safe to express herself in every way (including sexually). Also, lose the agenda. If she senses that the only reason you brought her over to your place is to bang her, she'll shut down completely and resist all your advances.

Instead, just make it clear that you're both there to have fun and spend time together. What happens naturally is okay with you, because you like her, and you're attracted to her. When you can beam that from your eyes and just relax and enjoy each other, she will loosen up very quickly and be open to being intimate with you.

Nothing kills intimacy like neediness. Don't need for her to get naked and bang you. Just allow her an opportunity to do that with you if she wants. If you make it clear that you're comfortable in your own skin, and that you are not intimidated by sex at all... she'll feel safe opening herself up to you literally as well as figuratively.

And remember, have your condoms nearby. Everything should flow smoothly, as if it were totally unplanned and natural.

Sebastian Steele
©2008

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