They say ninety percent of our happiness and misery depends upon the partner we choose in life. Finding the perfect partner is the most critical choice you have to make. It can either make or break you. It can either literally and figuratively save your life or end it. Your name and your legacy depends on it. Your legacy can include your children and your children's children and if you chose the wrong person to raise them is like raising an army to shoot you in the heart with a bow and arrow. The cliché- the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world applies to this scenario.

That's how essential finding the perfect partner is. All the things that you have been working for- financial, emotional and mental will be scattered off to pieces with the wrong significant other. In finding the perfect partner you have to forget what your kindergarten teacher taught you about the song "qeu sera sera, what will be will be" because in choosing the right spouse you have to be in control, you have to be conscious about it. In choosing the right spouse you have to fully and wholly know yourself. There must be a high level of self awareness and you have to know what you want in your life and your future.

You should be the master of your being. You should discern your strength and weaknesses. That's why mother's cry when their teenage sons or daughters decided to get married at a very young age because to reach a high level of self awareness, a person must go through certain amount of experience. I don't mean that wisdom comes with age but there are phases and stages in life that a person can become very impulsive and emotional. In having the right partner you have to not just rely on your heart but your mind as well. Here are some few guidelines or checklist in having the perfect partner.

Gauge his or her sense of responsibility. A person can love as much and care as much but if he or she lacks the sense of responsibility then for sure you are heading for a meltdown. Being responsible goes not just being industrious or hard working, it's standing up for every decision you have made and taking into consideration the feelings and welfare of the person you really care about first. There is a sense of integrity involved in being responsible. How do you know a person is responsible? Easy. For instance, if your boyfriend is still in school, he takes it seriously and he has a plan, he mentions that what he is doing is not for himself alone but for the people he loves.

If he is working, you know he is responsible if before he makes certain decisions he weigh things carefully and cautiously first. If you are with a very responsible spouse, you will never go hungry, you will always be taken cared of no matter what. Another guideline in having the perfect partner is to consider your compatibility factor. They say opposite poles attract but I say this only works for ions not persons. I have always believed that couples should complement each other if they want their union to last. There may be differences but on the things that matter like morals, values and wavelengths there should be balance and harmony.

In having the perfect partner, look for the factors and aspects that can stand the test of time not just for the time being.

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Ruth Purple
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