Women put a lot of stock into a kiss. The way you kiss her can make or break her feelings for you. An unsure attraction can be solidified with a passionate lip lock, or a woman can lose all attraction for you if the kiss is lame. Here are some tips to help ensure a good reaction.

Set the mood.

The necessity for mood setting varies with circumstance. If you've been together for a long time, and you're just sneaking a peck in the kitchen, you certainly don't need to go to romantic lengths before you go in. However, if it's a first kiss, or a kiss that you're hoping with lead to more physical activity, you need some lead in. It doesn't have to involve scented candles and Barry White, but you also don't want to catch her off guard. It can be as simple as looking into her eyes. Also, make some sort of preliminary physical contact - lightly stroke her cheek or push the hair out of her face. Whatever it is, make it a loving gesture. Avoid touching any of her private areas before she's comfortable.

Relax...

Nothing kills the mood like a stiff lipped kiss. It causes the kiss to feel awkward, interrupting the feeling of intimacy you've set. If the kiss feels awkward, then you feel awkward to her. Awkward equals insecure. You will be hard pressed to find a woman who wants a man who is so uncomfortable with himself he can't even enjoy a kiss. You must relax! Take all worries about your worthiness out of your head. She wouldn't be allowing your lips on hers if she thought you were some schlep, so don't convince her otherwise.

...but not too much.

Limp lips lack strength, and you don't want to look weak. I know, I know, where's the fine line? A good indication is the drool. There should be enough tension to keep the spit in your mouth. She should not be drowning in your saliva! If you keep your eyes closed and allow yourself to experience the kiss, you should be able to gage the tension.

Check your tongue.

The number one way to look like an amateur is to lead with the tongue. She wants to kiss you, not taste your dinner. It's also too overtly sexual. When you're getting hot and heavy, you can certainly enjoy some tonsil hockey, but immediate tongue action will make her feel objectified. Not that you have to keep it completely recoiled, a few quick licks of her parted lips will give her a thrill.

Put your boner away.

Putting your lips on a woman that you find sexually attractive gets you hot. You're a man; it's not difficult to get you aroused. However, if you start grabbing boobs and rubbing a hard penis on her leg, you'll be going home with your right hand tonight.

Michael Webb
©2009

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