Divorce adds a lot of stress to our lives. Many adjustments have to happen is a relatively short period of time. If you're like most people, you've probably started hearing friends, who mean well, tell you that you need to "move on." While in theory that sounds good, what does that really mean? What do you have to DO in order to "move on?" One step in that process is to be sure that you are financially stable.

Now let me be realy clear here. I'm not suggesting that you need to be wealthy! Divorce causes major changes in finances for both parties. You may suddenly be forced to have to work outside the home for the first time in years. You may have to start living off of 20% less of your income because it's going to your children's other parent for child support. A lot of divorcees have to move and this changes the monthly housing expenditure.

In order to have "moved on" all of these changes will have been handled and adjustments made so that things are stable again. You will be very clear as to what debts you have and are at the point where you have the means to keep those under control. Ignoring the fact that things have changed and not adjusting your lifestyle accordingly is called denial. That will hurt everyone involved.

Do you have a right to be angry about the lifestyle adjustments that need to be made. Sure you do. This wasn't the plan you had in mind on the day that you got married. But this is where you are right now. Acknowledging that and adjusting accordingly so that your life is stable again is a necessary step in that "moving on" process.

Alyssa Johnson at Remarriage Success
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